‘Who Ate All the Pies?’

October 26 is not, in fact, International Pie & Pint Day. October 26 is, among numerous other things, National Pumpkin Day, National Chicken Fried Steak Day, National Mule Day, and National Noah Day. Other than possibly sending best wishes to former Manchester City youth player Noah Ohio, I do not plan on celebrating any of these days nor do I know anyone who is planning on celebrating. I suppose this is just evidence that we currently have a glut of these gimmicky, celebratory days.

So then, why not one more?

With the zero authority I possess on matters like this, I hereby declare October 26 to be International Pie & Pint Day – a day for celebrating the most traditional of traditional fare served at football grounds across the United Kingdom (a pie and a pint; duh) and for honoring the formation of the Football Association (founded on October 26, 1863), the world’s oldest football governing body.

Whether it’s a wide-eyed, fresh-faced lad who is enjoying his first pie and pint, wiping the grease from his mouth with his newly purchased scarf, or a flat-capped, gray-haired chap who can recall his first pie and pint – at a ground since demolished and during a game that he can no longer remember the details of – everyone loves this traditional matchday pairing. Right?

So how do you celebrate International Pie & Pint Day? Easy! By quaffing a pint, tucking into a pie (whatever the variety may be), and indulging in a football match – live, if possible. In the absence of a football match, one can take in a football match replay on the television, watch old football highlights on the Internet, read a book on football, or simply sit in a room in a comfortable chair with the lights dimmed and think about football.